Hell No, I Don't Recommend It
by mushushy
Summary: A routine survey of an M class planet turns deadly for the away team. Set after the movies, so spoilers. One shot.


**Hell No, I Don't Recommend It**

Summary: A retained survey of an M class planet turns deadly for the away team. Set after the movies, so spoilers. One shot.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, but I wished that I did. **

* * *

_Got to run._

_Faster _

_We have to go faster its right behind us._

_So close to the shuttle craft, just a little further._

* * *

_2 hours earlier._

For Captain Kirk it was turning into a really boring week of exploration, which was alright as long as his crew was safe then that was fine with him. Spock was off duty so the Vulcan wasn't there to distract the bored star ship captain. Maybe he could take a stroll down to the medical bay and see what Bones was doing. Sighing Kirk stood up and was about to walk out when the red shirt manning communications turned to him and said. 

"Captain you have a transmission from Star Fleet."

"Let's see it." Kirk said sitting back down in his chair.

The red shirted ensign brought it up on to the main screen. Admiral Lang's face appeared on the screen; she replaced Admiral Marcus as one of the heads of Star Fleet as she was the most senior member left apart from Admiral Archer. Something told him that Admiral Archer was never going to retire. So many had died that day; most of them in the buildings that Khan's ship crashed in to, it was a disaster that was felt across the whole federation.

"Good morning Captain Kirk, I have a mission for you and your crew." She said.

"Good morning admiral, what's the mission?" Kirk inquired getting straight done to business. _Maybe this will curb the bored feeling._

"It's fairly simple, just a routine survey of an M class planet that might be a great place to have a colony on. Some scouts reported it but didn't get a closer look, just take some scans and soil samples. These are the coordinates; I expect a report in the next day or so. Lang out. " Admiral Lang said.

The transmission ended as quickly as it began, leaving Kirk to decide who to send on the survey mission. Looking at Ensign Sulu, Kirk decided that he himself should pilot the shuttle craft down to the surface with Spock and Bones. It might give a little excitement to the boring week that he was having. Kirk knew the right person to watch over his ship while he was away. Getting up again he moved over to Ensign Sulu clapping the man on the shoulder to get his attention. Too bad that Scotty was laid up with appendicitis, of all the things that could go wrong with the engineer it was appendicitis which had struck earlier on in the week. Luckily Bones was able to fix him up but demanded that Scotty stay in bed and rest for at least a week maybe two if he annoyed the doctor. So with Scotty out that left Ensign Sulu with the command.

"Mr Sulu how do you enjoy sitting on the captain's chair?" Kirk asked.

"It's very comfortable sir." Sulu replied.

"Good, head towards the coordinates, Commander Spock, Dr McCoy and I are going down to the surface, you're in charge until we get back." Kirk commanded.

"Yes Sir." Sulu said.

With the Enterprise under way Kirk left the bridge and headed off to the sick bay to tell Bones the good news. Upon entering the sickbay he immediately spotted his friend over the other side of the room sitting at his desk catching up on some paper work. _Now that just won't do. He looks way too bored doing that; he needs to get out of this room for a bit. _

"Oh Bones, I have a surprise for you." Kirk said walking up to his friend.

"And what would that be Jim?" McCoy asked, not taking his eyes of his paper work.

"We're going on a trip." Kirk said brightly.

"Where?" McCoy sighed still trying to concentrate on his work.

"Just an M class planet Star Fleet wanted a survey on." Kirk shrugged.

"Why me?" McCoy groaned finally looking up at Kirk.

"Cause you need to check to see if there are any dangerous plants and what not on the planet. Besides being coped up in here isn't good for you, the fresh air will do you wonders." _Ha now I've got you._

"Hmm as long as it doesn't take too long, I'm still catching up on the paperwork from the annual physical on everyone." McCoy said.

"Come on Bones, it could be fun." Kirk said clapping McCoy on the shoulder.

"Don't say that man." McCoy groaned.

"What, why?" Kirk asked.

"Because whenever you say that it never turns out good." McCoy sighed.

"It's all in your head, be ready and waiting in the shuttle bay in an hour. Don't be late." Kirk shouted over his shoulder as he left the medical bay missing McCoy's muttering something about him as he went. Now all he had to do was talk Spock it to it, shouldn't be too hard as he is the Lead Scientist officer on board. It didn't take long as soon the whole away team was waiting in the shuttle bay as the technicians did their last minute checks.

With the checks done the away team entered the shuttle and prepared for take-off. From the looks of it Kirk thought that it looked like a typical M class planet. Unfortunately they couldn't scan it from the ship, meaning that anything could be waiting for them when they get down on the ground. That worried Kirk a bit, but he had a sense of adventure with in him. Departing the Enterprise the shuttle craft headed towards the planet slowly taking in the landscape as they neared it. As the away team flew closer they could see that the planet was covered in a jungle making it difficult to land the shuttlecraft.

It didn't take long to find a nice clearing just large enough for the shuttle craft to land in, flicking the last switches off Kirk looked over at his first officer who was looking though the scanners. Turning his head around to look at Bones he wasn't surprise to see the Doctor looking a bit green around the edges clutching at his stomach. It seemed that even though he had been through space battles Dr McCoy still hated traveling in small space crafts, the Enterprise was one thing that the doctor was finally getting used too. Making his way over to his friend Kirk sat down next to him while they waited for Spock to take some readings from the planet.

"You ok there Bones?" Kirk asked.

"Damn it man you know what those things are like for me." Bones swore.

"Yeah; but would you rather use the transporter to get down here instead?" Kirk asked.

"Are you mad man, to get yourself pulled apart and then put back together someplace else? I can't think which is worse." Bones said shaking his head.

"Then don't worry about it, all you have to do is concentrate on the doctor side of the trip, collecting some vegetation and some scans on the local wildlife if there are any." Kirk said smiling.

"I suppose your right Jim." Bones sighed running his hands through his hair in nervousness.

Just as Kirk was about to say 'of cause I am I'm the Captain.' Spock choose that moment to finish his scans interrupting the conversation to reveal that the sensors on the shuttle craft were working but they couldn't seem to pick up any sign of native animal life. In one way it disturbed Kirk that their scans didn't pick anything up but then he had a sense of adventure so he was also kind of happy that they didn't. It just ment that they had to do things the hard way; go and have a look around with their eyes for once, which didn't bother him in the slightest. It didn't take them long to have everything that they needed attached to their belts or in their hands including their phasers just in case.

The one thing that the previous scan's picked up was that there was an oxygen and nitrogen atmosphere allowing them to walk around without having to wear environmental suits. Opening the shuttle craft door Kirk took his first proper look at the surrounding trees. To say that this was a jungle was an understatement; it looked like they were extremely lucky that they had managed to find a place to set their shuttle down in the first place. If the federation was going to set up a colony here than they were going to have a lot of work just to clear enough trees to build their houses let alone their farms.

The three of them headed towards the edge of the jungle, Bones and Spock taking scans of the environment around them while Kirk just walked beside them taking in the fresh air with a smile on his face. This was so much better than just sitting on the ship and staring at the stars as they travelled along at warp speed. Yes he loved his ship and the stars but sometimes it was good to feel the ground beneath his feet. So far the planet was passing the tests that the federation had put in place to make sure that they didn't mess with the evolution of the planet and any form of intelligent life. _Ah what's life without the Prime Directive._

The three of them walked deeper into the undergrowth and away from the shuttle; apart from the occasional mutterings of Bones it was dead quiet, too quiet. Like the calm before the storm. It put them all on edge; there was no wind, no birds, nothing except for their breathing. It was another half an hour before they had to check in with the Enterprise so with no reason to call the ship they trudged on deeper and deeper into the jungle. It was only 5 minutes later that something happened; first Spock stopped suddenly listening at a noise that neither Bones nor Kirk could hear, the second indication that there was something happening was a low rumbling shaking the ground that would stop then start suddenly again.

"What the hell is going on?" Kirk yelled at Spock over the noise which had started again.

"I am unsure Captain; it seems to be coming from this direction." The Vulcan said pointing directly in front of them.

"I think that we should check it out."

"Are you out of your mind Jim you don't go towards the trouble your ment to stay away from it!" McCoy shouted.

"We need to see what's happening." Kirk shouted back as the noise increased.

"The Captain is right doctor; if there is any sort of problem that would interfere with having a colony here then we need to know now rather than later." Spock spoke up still trying to see where the noise and shaking was coming from.

The three of them set of at a cautious pace towards the sound which now sounded like a wounded animal in pain. The tremors still shook the ground every so often, Kirk now had one hand attacked to his phaser on his belt just in case. _Oh man I really wish that it's just a normal earthquake and not some large creature that's going to attack us the second that it sees us._ Kirk could see that Spock had adapted a similar hand position all with one exception his other hand was still scanning the environment ahead of them. Up ahead they could see that it opened up into a large clearing, he could hear Bones grumbling about having to walk this far when they could have landed there in the first place.

Stoping at the tree line the three of them could immediately see what was making the ground shake, but they could hardly believe their eyes. In front of the away team were Dinosaurs! Real life dinosaurs! They had only seen them in books and museums and even then Kirk was sure that they shouldn't be that big. Yes the dinosaur's skeletons in the museum were huge but these were on another level altogether. They were bigger than a four story house, stomping around the pains near a lake. The shaking seemed to be emanating from what looked like a triceratops but with five horns instead of three and a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling it out shaking the ground as they go. The new danger for the away team now was not being spotted by the huge beasts or worse being squashed by them as they threw their weight around.

"Captain I think that we should leave before we are spotted." Spock said calmly.

"It's not often that I agree with the hobgoblin over here but I think on this occasion he's bang on. Let's get the hell out of here." Dr. McCoy whispered furiously.

"Errr guy's I hate to say it but I think that it's too late." Kirk said pointing at a T-Rex that was standing 30 or so metre's from them. It was not the same one which was still fighting the five horned dinosaur, meaning that there was more than one out there and unfortunately one was staring right at them.

The choice swear words that the doctor was spitting out didn't seem enough to describe their situation. The smart thing would to try and back away slowly and hope that the T-Rex won't follow them thinking that they were barely a mouthful for the giant carnivore but it seemed that was not to be. As the away team slowly backed towards the deeper undergrowth, the T-Rex to a step towards them, Kirk could feel he's heart beat jump up. All he could think about how had a simple survey mission turn into a shit storm so easily_. Not's so bored now are you kirk_. The taunting voice in his head said. Sometimes it seemed that the universe was against him and his crew.

The second that the T-Rex took that first step; Kirk whirled around grabbing McCoy's arm and proceeded to run not caring that he was setting a relentless pace. Kirk didn't bother to stop to see if Spock was following as he was sure that the Vulcan was. As far as he was concerned Bones was the most vulnerable of them. Yes the Doctor may be ok in a fire fight but Kirk and Spock outmatched him not that it would matter as the T-Rex would no doubt be unaffected by the phasers they brought with them. It didn't take long for Spock to overtake the other two leading the way back to the shuttlecraft all of them could hear the T-Rex had decide to chase them through the jungle. The only advantage that they had against the dinosaur was the fact that the beast was so large. But with the advantage came another problem, the dinosaur was large enough to bring down some of the trees. They really had to pick up the pace.

"Somehow I think this is your fault." Bones yelled at Jim who was still gripping his friend's upper arm.

"It's not. There was no way to know that there were dinosaurs on this planet. The scans didn't pick any of this up, so I don't see how this is my fault." Kirk shouted back.

"I could have been sitting at my desk happily finishing those nice safe annual physical reports but no you said 'Come on Bones, it could be fun'. It's bloody not fun now is it?!" Bones bellowed as he continued to run.

"Well I'm sorry I got it wrong. How was I supposed to know that there were fucking dinosaurs on this fucking planet!" Kirk snapped back.

The three of them rushed through the jungle not caring at the branches and bushes scratching them as they ran past at full pelt. They could still hear the T-Rex crashing through the jungle and it sounded like it was gaining on them. It would be on them in a matter of minutes. He could have laughed out in relief as he saw the shuttle craft glint through the trees. They were so close to safety.

_Run._

_Got to run._

_Faster _

_We have to go faster its right behind us._

_So close to the shuttle craft, just a little further._

As that thought went through his head everything went from bad to worse. While looking over his shoulder trying to see where the T-Rex was his right foot found a hole in the ground. Jim couldn't help but cry out in pain as his foot sunk further in halting his progress and letting his grip on Bones arm go as he fell flat on his face straight into a rock. He must have blacked out for a moment. Everything was fuzzy and he could feel something running down his face; he was vaguely aware of someone shouting his name but he couldn't for the life of him figure out who they were let alone what they were saying. He vaguely registered that he wasn't safe lying there; something was niggling at the back of his mind. Shaking his head was a bad move; it increased his pain in his head and did nothing for the fuzzy eyesight.

"Jim! Jim can you hear me?"

"Captain! Doctor we must get him up and out of here."

"No shit Spock." _ Wait wasn't that Bones voice?_

Kirk felt someone lift him up by his arms; he couldn't help but groan in pain as his leg was jostled as he was lifted up. His foot and leg came clear of the hole easily, but even to him it looked like it had a funny angle to it. At least he could see clearly again; and what he saw was not encouraging. He was stuck in a jungle with a broken leg and most likely a concussion judging by the pounding head ache that he was experiencing. _What I wouldn't give for one of Bones lovely painkillers even if it came via hypo spray. Damn I hated those things. Now I'm was getting of track; right stuck in the jungle with Bones and hey where did Spock come from?_

"It's alright Jim we'll get you out of here." Bones reassured him before looking at Spock "Do you think that you can carry him the rest of the way?"

"It should be no problem Doctor."

"Be careful of his right leg is broken."

Spock didn't waste any time; he lifted Kirk up into a bridal carry and set off towards the shuttle craft at a fast pace with Bones following behind them; both of them aware that the T- Rex was getting closer. Kirk however was blissfully unaware of anything apart from pain radiating from his leg the second that he was lifted up. Kirk was sure that Bones was around here somewhere so why the hell hadn't he given him one of those damn hypo spay pain killers that he loves to jam in his neck. Not that it mattered; as long as his crew were safe then he would endure the pain. He was vaguely aware of being set down in a chair; the hiss of a hypo spray accompanied with a sudden acceleration which finally sent him into oblivion.

* * *

As Kirk regained conciseness he felt the softness of a bio bed underneath him, the pain in his head and leg were both gone; although that annoying beeping was starting to drive him crazy. Maybe he should try to open his eyes and figure out what the hell was going on. He opened both eyes slowly blinking away the blurriness; focusing on the figure sitting at a desk across the room doing paper work. Trying to talk made Jim realize that his throat was bone dry. Clearing his throat caused the CMO to look up and realizes that he was awake. Jim watched as Bones made his way over to him; he gratefully accepted the offered glass of water. Taking a sip seemed to help.

"Hey Bones; how long was I out for?" Jim asked frowning at the roughness of his voice.

"Oh you know just a few day's; a couple of them you spent in a coma. You scared the hell out of everyone especially the hobgoblin. I finally managed to convince him to leave and get some rest right before you woke up." Bones replied as he went around Jim's bed checking his vitals.

"COMA?!" Jim Shouted.

"Yes; yes it was a light coma due to the hit on the head. There was some swelling on your brain that didn't want to go down which is why you slipped into a coma. Your body was just trying to give it time to heal. You're very lucky it's a rare syndrome it's called Second Impact Syndrome. One question have you been hit one the head it the last couple of weeks?"

"Um; yeah I think I got hit in the head in engineering. I was helping Scotty out and one of the ensigns accidently dropped a spanner on my head. It was nothing though just had a headache it went away after a few days." Jim shrugged.

"And you didn't think to tell me about this?" Bones asked in a quiet voice. _Oh shit he's going to start yelling at me any second now._

"Of all the boneheaded things that you keep from me; YOU DECIDE TO WITHHOLD THE ONE THING THAT COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS WHOLE SITUATION! GOD DANM IT JIM YOU COULD HAVE DIED!" Bones bellowed.

"Judging from that fact that the Doctor here is yelling I must assume that the Captain is awake." A voice sounded from over near the doors to sick bay.

"Spock! What the hell are you doing back here I thought that I told you to get some rest. An Hour hardly counts as rest." Bones grumbled.

"I …." Spock started.

"You know what I don't want to hear it." Bones interrupted the Vulcan before he could explain. Bones went over to grab some more meds muttering to himself about damn Hobgoblins and their Star ship captains.

"All I wished to say was that I left my PADD here. I came to grab it before heading back to my quarters." Spock said moving to stand next to the bed. "But now that you are awake I can stay if you would like?"

"Yeah; maybe you can tell me what the hell happened on the planet. I remember seeing dinosaurs but after that….. I don't know." Kirk shrugged.

"After we found the dinosaurs, we were spotted by a large carnivore; which led to us retreating back to the shuttle craft. Unfortunately your right foot found a hole in the ground which caused you to fall and hit your head. It also broke both you Tibia and Fibula in your right leg. Your head injury caused you to fall unconscious which lead to me carrying you back to the shuttle craft. While I managed to pilot the shuttle out of danger; Dr McCoy treated your injuries." Spock said in a calm manner.

"I missed all the fun huh?" Kirk asked.

"Didn't I warn you that you jinx this mission?" Bones huffed as he made his way back over to them a hypo spray in his hand.

"Oh come on Bones how is this all my fault?" Jim wined.

"Don't get me started on that kid. It's time for your painkillers and it's time for Mr Spock to leave." Bones grumbled.

"As you wish Doctor; rest up Captain." Spock said before he left the sickbay PADD in hand.

"Oh just a little bit longer; you know how those things makes my mind fogy."

"You're still recovering from surgery on your leg and head. I think that you need your rest kid." Bones said right before jamming the hypo spray in his neck.

"Damn it Bones that hurt's. Shit; I forgot I have to report back to the admiral." Kirk said suddenly.

"The Admiral can wait kid; go to sleep."

* * *

Two days later Kirk returned to the bridge ready for the report to the Admiral. His leg was healing as well as his head; the only sign that he had been sick was the slight limp and the cane that he was using. Kirk had a huge smile plastered on his face as he walked onto the bridge. The bridge crew leapt to their feet as Chekov sounded. "Captain on the Bridge."

"Alright guy's back to work." Kirk said as he made his way over to his command chair.

"Admiral Lang is on the com for you Captain." Uhura said smiling.

"Alight put her on." Kirk said straitening his shirt up.

"Ah Captain Kirk I hope that you are recovered from your injuries?" Admiral Lang asked as soon as she appeared on the main screen.

"Getting better every day sir." Kirk responded.

"Good to hear; now regards to that M class planet survey I assume that you have all the data on the planet?"

"Yes sir."

"And what was your option on it as a future colony site?" Lang asked. _What could I say about that planet? My opinion I would have to say hell no! But maybe I should go with Spock's option. _

"Um I don't recommend it sir." Kirk said with a smile.

* * *

**AN: this was the first time that I have dabbled in Star Trek. I am a Treky through and through. I've had this plot in my head for a while now and I finally wrote it! YAY! I hope that you like it, if so drop me a review . :D Till next time.**

**Mushushy.**


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